Daniel Dobson

"Talk to Jean, he's the best bartender in the Caribbean!"

"The service is more terrifying than the thought of Nancy Pelosi becoming president."

"Can't figure out how I got here, it's like I woke up in a strange and dark woods, and I'm about to start my descent into the inferno. If only Virgil could rescue me now."

"Many have entered the ancient temple, never to return. Some say the living dead still wander the halls, others speak of a great treasure deep in the labyrinth. All I know is this: it is beautiful."

"Buy Beardcore, be hardcore. There can be only one."

"Giordano's doesn't own the parking lot at this location, and the owners of the parking lot charge $4. But totally worth it for the best pizza this side of the Mississippi."