Will

"There's a dog in here and he's awesome."

"Watch out for the solitary confinement dungeon."

"Now that the Toad Patrol has been ambushed, this the only fucking game in town."

"Protip: Charging for Internet access will eventually get you hanged."

"New Jersey"

"Be careful the mandatory self-service gas attendant doesn't put your gas cap on the paint of your shiny red car. Because he will."