Aaron Andersen

"Leave your thong panties rolled up in somebody else's carpet."

"If you're lucky, you might get on a new 5000 series train!"

"Sit on the joggling board with your sweetheart and jiggle your worries away!"

"If you don't want a lot of mayo or mustard, don't get any. No matter how carefully you say JUST A VERY SMALL AMOUNT, they slather it on there as if they can't understand (and perhaps they can't)."

"Check out the encircling graveyard."

"If you want dinner out and a show, but are cramped for time, you can have a pizza from Union made and delivered to your table."