Alastair Edwards

"Service is consistently terrible and the food overpriced--please do yourself a favour and head to Raoul's instead"

"Pop in to admire the elaborate, nipple-like chandeliers and functioning air-con system."

"Make sure you step in for one of the famous, freshly-made fudge doughnuts; just watch out for your waistline afterwards."

"Never, ever go here or to any other branch of Wagamama ever in your life. Ever. Seriously--walk away now."

"More than worth a visit to gawp at the immaculate period interior replete with snugs, snob holes and incredible carved bar. The ridiculous prices and lack of real ale won't help to tempt you back."

"You could come and grab a sun-drenched seat at this tiny side street cafe, but then you'd have to drink their terrible coffee--sort it out, Jimbo."