Ben Stoddard

"Don't do the late night. Drinks aren't cheaper and the kitchen choices are either bad or trying to hard (blue cheese on fries instead of something simple and better)"

"The rowing machine's screen doesn't work, but the resistance still works."

"If you (like me) never can remember how to describe your haircut, ask them to write a description card for your wallet. Same cut every time!"

"If you need a pen, bring one... If one even is in the room it'll probably be dry"