Dee Beutel

"Very cheap local gifts and wonderful service."

"The chili is gluten free without the bread side, and the French onion soup is gluten free without the crouton. They'll also make their burger without a bun and use lettuce instead. Very very tasty."

"Leopard-woman is not a Leopard, but rather a Cheetah. In fact, her name is Cheetarah. This tip will make sense once she's your server; I promise."

"Wait forever. Then wait some more. Eventually your bags will come. Maybe."

"Ikea expedit on sale here for $699. Not something like it, but the exact ikea piece. It only costs $120 at Ikea. Really, dudes? Really?"

"It is a circle, guys. Running frantically after your luggage is pointless. It will just come around again."