John Schenk

"Make sure you're not two minutes late. Bitch gave my spot away because I wasn't on time. Meanwhile, I stood there and watch my seat get taken while she was blabbing on the phone."

"Home of the official Schenk-a-palooza Tequila tasting party!"

"Food is terrific here. I recommend the short ribs special (if available). Ask to have the scallops "nicely seared". And anything with rye whiskey rocks!"

"I heard the major is corrupt."