Sean Parker

"Halfie's fat ass pooped here, and it was disgusting. Try and avoid him if he's down here. He disgusts me."

"We had a rehearsal dinner here for me and my life-partner. They were totally accepting of the LGBT lifestyle, which you don't see a lot nowadays. Glory holes galore here."

"When you come in to pick up your pizza for carry out, they offer discounts for how big of a shit you can take on the counter. Over two feet and it's free!"

"Let me tell you something about ol' TK. You come in here, you better be ready to shit. I walked into that bathroom, hopped on that throne, and ended that toilet's life. A+, shitter's paradise."

"Some may think it is frowned upon to become erect while getting your pants tailored, but here, it isn't just encouraged, it's required. Let your boner shine!"

"Picture this: you're in the ball pit, surrounded by kids. Instant erection. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? Answer: whip it out, slam it in a ball, walk out with your head held high. Free fries."