Man, you people need to get out of the state more! Moving sidewalks, Dyson airblades, crappy airport food. Welcome to 2011 people! I hate small airports! So behind the times!
Quite probably the worst cup of coffee ever produced (in the secure area - by baggage claim is actually pretty decent). You'd be better served drinking the de-icing liquid used on the planes.
1) Eat before you go. The cafe inside is terrible and expensive. 2) I hope you have status for those Thursday night flights. If not, then good luck finding an overhead bin.